yeah, i'm like a rapper. i go away for a while and when i come back, it's aaaaall about BEIN' BACK!
anyway, some... stuff happened, but more on that later.

right now, i wanted to post about a new zine i'm doing called 'undoomed'. it's a free comics/words/drawings zine and i'm seeking submissions and advertisers. so... comics people! writing people! business people! etsy-ers! see this:

http://undoomed.ilikeapplejuice.com

HUZZAH!

hey, pals,
i'm in two magazines out right now-ish. go peek.

VegNews Magazine. I think it's the July/August issue. It's the MUSIC issue, and there's a small piece on OMEGA MONSTER PATROL! BEHOLD!

Nickelodeon Magazine. The July issue (out in a few days or so) features a drawing by me as the cover to the comic book section. Yeah, baby.




So there you have it. It's hot as HELL in San Francisco today. It's gotta be like 78 degrees out. BLARG!

By the way, I live in San Francisco now.

I woke up balls early and got a cab to the airport. The flight to LA from New York is over six hours. GOOD LORD. So I was going to LA for Book Expo America to hustle my book, Punk Rock Etiquette, which comes out in September. I was basically there to meet a lot of booksellers and do a few programs. I did a book signing on Friday, it was pretty cool. I signed 40-50 advanced readers copies, which was 40-50 more than I expected! I sat a few rows down from Henry Winkler signing his book. Yeah, that's right. The next day, I did a "speed dating" program, where I went from table to table of booksellers, librarians, etc. talking for three minutes about the book and me and inspiration and all of that. Colleen, marketing mastermind, came along and helped steer the convo. Got a LOT of positive feedback, and a handful of them talked about doing music-related programs with me at their stores. So basically... I might be doing some book touring. That night, Macmillan had its dessert party, where I (along with five other authors) was introduced and gave a little speechschpeel. More good words, met lots of folks.

All along the while, I ate awesome food and a pretty killer time. Met lots of cool authors. Also - there was a phone in the bathroom of my hotel room. You heard me. And guess who else was at BEA. No. Guess. My pal Jennifer Perkins! Hooray! We walked around together for a bit on Friday, but never got a chance to hang out again. Her book comes out this fall as well.

So yeah. This is all pretty crazy and awesome. My little ol' book is going to be in stores. And it can already be pre-ordered on amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, borders.com, shop.mtv.com, and lots of other places. Whirlwind. A whirlwind.

I just got back from 10 days of traveling and busting hump.

I flew to Philadelphia to go to my cousin Margi's wedding in a New Jersey suburb. It was kind of stressful for me, since up until the day I left, I was working on my book all day every day, and suddenly I wasn't working at all. There was a wedding band at the reception. They played all of the wedding jams.

After a couple days of family hanging, couch sleeping, repetitive Rubik solving, farmer's marketing, etc., Linda drove out to pick me up and take me into Philly. We ate at Gianni's (I'm not sure if that's the right name), a rad place that has regular and vegan pizza, cheese steaks, etc. YUMZOR. We hung out around town for a while, then went to her huuuuuuge house, then went back out for groceries. Then I took a nap and Linda cooked. I woke up to friends downstairs and delicious stuffed mushrooms. Then we went for a long walk, met up with her boyfriend, and went to "Karaoke Krackdown"... which was basically just... karaoke.

The next morning we had breakfast with Melissa (Linda's roommate) and then went out for coffee and painted some paper maché masks we made the day before. Then we hung around out and about, got my ticket for the Chinatown bus, walked around some more, got vegetarian hogies, and went back to the bus station. If you've never taken a Chinatown express bus... it's basically like being in a third world country. There's no line outside. People cram in a big mass, and when the bus pulls up, people push and elbow their way on. It's dirt cheap, but I've done it a few times now... and I... just don't want to do it anymore. So I barely got to say goodbye to Linda and Melissa because they hurried around the crowd to get my bag under the bus, and I crammed my way on. Look. I wasn't trying to get in front of people. I just made sure I got on before this big group tried to flank me. GAAAAH!!!!

So I got to New York and started making pal appointments. Brandy and I walked around and hung out at the park drinking GIANT margaritas, and then got falafels with her boyfriend. Then I headed waaaaaaaay north in Manhattan to crash with Matt and Katie. Their new place is rad. The next day I had lunch with Deirdre, my editor at Roaring Brook and went through the whoooole book marking and making changes to the layout and correcting illustration mistakes, etc. I hung out with Lindsay in Brooklyn and met up with some other folks, had tater tots at a bar, and then went back to Matt and Katie's. The NEXT day I played video games for a bit and ate sushi with Matt near Columbia. Then I grabbed all of my stuff and headed back to Brooklyn to hang out with Lindsay before going to Oscar and Al's. I was going to stash my stuff at Lindsay's until Al got off work, but I got a text from Al as I got off the train asking if I could drop off my stuff before she got off work so we could go straight to a show that Oscar was playing. As I started to reply, I looked up and Al was standing right next to me. She had been eating lunch at a pizza place across the street. So I got her keys, met up with Lindsay, went to Oscar and Al's, dropped my stuff off, went to Foodswings, walked Lindsay home and went to Al's work. Then we hopped a train to the Mercury Lounge to see a band Oscar is in called Ludlow Lions. THEY WAIL. So we went back to Oscar and Al's after the show, talked a while and then went to sleep.

END OF ENTRY.

do a google image search for the month you were born and post the first picture. then do a search for the day you were born and post the first picture. then do a search for the year you were born and post the first picture. and post the little versions!

example:

"september" "11" "1978"

hey! it would be cool to find a table buddy for APE! i usually just get a half table and end up next to who they put me with, but i thought it would be nice to register with someone. anyone? anyone?

do you like video tapes?
do you like bikes?
do you like paper?
do you like clothes?
do you like this ikea tv stand (but in green)?

do you like little tvs that fit right on top?
do you like cds?
do you like art?
do you like frames?
do you like other things?

i'm going to be selling a lot of stuff soon. like WOAH cheap. like... i'm screwing myself cheap.
coming soon!

i am going to miss my family and my texas friends so much when i move!
i promise i'll visit. promise you'll visit.

i have never lived outside of texas before. the longest i've ever been away was the four months that i had an internship in new york. and i came back for a weekend in the middle because i'm so lame. other than that, a month or few weeks here and there for lengthy visits to san francisco, touring, travel, etc.

i am scareded.
but really excited.

okay, no time for this bullcorn! i got a book to finish and whatnots!

1) sent my "author photo" to the pub. this morning. this might be in the book. might be used for other stuff. i dunno. i dunno what they do. long as i get my rent paid on friday, ain't no nevermind to me.



2) WINSLOW STILL NEEDS A NEW HOME! help! help! ask around!

it's official. i am moving to san francisco. jessica and i got the apartment we wantwantwanted. the price is good, the neighborhood is good (potrero hill), there's a deck AND a back yard and a supercute kitchen and i am in love with it.


i love the kitchen so much! AAAAAH!!! look at the little nook behind the stove! that's for officing!

here's a link to a photoset:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/definitelyjess/sets/72157604902794032/

other notes:
living! room! loooook! bay windows! wood floors! great light!
bed! room! yippee!
bath! room! look! it's like peeing in greece!
back! yard! YAY! there's an apple tree there!
deck! coming soon: plants galore!

Winslow is the quintessential happy puppy. He loves to play, is a great snuggler, and needs a new home. Winslow is a shepherd mix with floppy ears and heartbreaking eyes. He is ready to find a friend for life who will devote time and affection and really bond. Someone to go to the park with and puppy school with and hang around the house with. Winslow has a sweet disposition and is sure to grow to be loyal, brilliant and and all around great dog. He is currently 5-6 months and weighs between 40 and 50 pounds. His shots are current and he is due to be fixed. He's not totally stoked about leashes and isn't quite used to riding in cars, but he's still young and untrained (though he is housebroken).



So... if you or someone you know has a big ol' hole in their heart and room in their life for a really amazing dog, let me know. He deserves it!

Thanks, gang!

hey, pals.
i'm thinking about switching internet hosts for my sites.

who do you use? do ya like 'em?

i'm going to be in the VegNews music issue, and i needed to send them a photo. so... tonight... i made THIS!

http://www.cracked.com/article_16219_200-comics-in-under-12-hours.html

and a lot of them are really good. like white ninja good.
i quit.

i got this rad idea yesterday when this chick on a cell phone cut me off by turning right in front of me while i was in the bike lane on guadalupe. i yelled HEY at her but she just kept yacking away. never noticed. so i had this idea to rig up my mountain bike with mounted water guns so i could blast jerks who mess with me.

but just like with 'chesskers', i wasn't the first person to think of this. i give you... WATER WHEELS!

http://www.water-wheels.com

this dude spent over $300,000 developing this set up. it hasn't been picked up by a manufacturer yet, but he's been to some toy fairs. so yeah. what i want to do isn't going to actually pump the guns by the rotation of the wheel. mine will just be guns mounted to the handlebars with the trigger by the brakes. simple. and i will be using thrifted supersoaker stuff instead of new plastic. DIY, baby! i'll be sure to put photos up when i finally do it. jake is going to help me fix up that bike, and i'm sure he'll get a laugh out of it.

and be sure to watch the amazing cartoon:
http://www.water-wheels.com/video/cartoon_full_mov.htm

last night, i invented something that, well, now seems that has been invented countless times already. i was at bouldin creek with ross and jacob, and jacob brought over the chess/checkers board from the game shelf. i opened it up, and it was FULL of pieces. typical to bouldin creek, there were parts to four or five games in the box to make of for various missing pieces. i set up chess, and then had a thought. i replaced the pawns on the white spaces and replaced them with checkers, leaving us with four pawns and four checkers each. i decided that the checkers would move like standard checkers, and would take out an opponent's piece by jumping it. they could double-jump and get kinged and everything. the rest of the pieces would behave normally as well.

it was way fun. at one point, i double-jumped jacob's bishop and one of his checkers. we were laughing like nerds the whole time. it was REALLY FUN. and i hate chess. and checkers.

so this morning i did a search for "chesskers" and it turns out that tons of people have created the game. makes sense. the pieces often come together in a set, and obviously use the same board. and then names fit together. the problem is, i haven't been able to find a link about chesskers that actually shows a board set up or gameplay happening. it's weird. so many dead links. so many mentions of the game without any explanation.

anyway, it was a good time. makes me want to create... THE ULTIMATE BOARD GAME.

"Jesse, you know everything about the environment except how to enjoy it." - Albert Clifford Slater



Yeah, sometimes I need to lighten up. Thanks for opening my eyes, A.C.

Google has revealed itself as a component of Skynet. Exhibit A1 and A2.




Yes. That's my house. I'm there behind the van. I'm wearing a black t-shirt. SEE! They're WATCHING ME because they know that I know. Do you SEE? DO YOU SEE NOW?!

This must be stopped before it's too late. The resistance must hold strong. Humanity can survive and redeem itself.
LONG LIVE THE FIGHTERS!

I was watching episodes of "Salute Your Shorts" on YouTube yesterday, and I got up this morning wanting to pick up where I left off. Wait... where are the shows? That user had all of them. This is weird... So I browsed through my history and clicked on one that I watched yesterday.

This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Viacom International Inc.

I really love that show, and it's not available on DVD. So what do I do? Find a bootleg? Heck no! I couldn't do that! I can't STAND copyright infringement. And I would never bite the hand that feeds me. So... I guess I'll just watch Badd4Good videos and the Michael Bower Power Hour. Oh. And listen to Rilo Kiley.

I think Viacom/Nickelodeon should have old shows available for download on iTunes. It would make manufacturing costs come to zero point zero dollars, and people wouldn't have to turn to copyright infringement to watch those wonderful shows again.

It's "I hope we never part". Now get it right or pay the price.